


Your side of the bed is cold, but the sheets still smell like you.

by jolimelon



Series: Drabbles [5]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-28 03:44:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20959919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jolimelon/pseuds/jolimelon
Summary: When the Kerberos mission is a 'failure' and Takashi's young life is lost, Adam bids one final farewell to the man he used to- and always would- love.





	Your side of the bed is cold, but the sheets still smell like you.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a long time ago but never posted it! It takes place after the Kerberos mission, of course, and is just a little bit of Adam's insight on what life was like post-Kerberos. This has probably been done before but hey, this is my first time taking a crack at it so enjoy!

Adam walks, uninterrupted down the long hallway, the crowd dispersing around him as if he’s parting the red sea. Despite being in his place of work, he wears casual clothing unbefitting to his usually tidy appearance. His hair is a mess- he doesn’t care. He hasn’t cared for some time.

The only person bold enough to approach him is Iverson, who gives him a brief, sympathetic glance before he asks, “You sure you’re ready for this?” 

“If not now then when?” Adam retorts so quickly that Iverson isn’t prepared to reply. 

He leads him to the memorial plaques, all lined up neatly and in pristine condition. It’s a sight that Adam hasn’t visited before, he hasn’t needed to. 

Takashi is the newest addition alongside Samuel and Matthew Holt. The photo of him is an outdated headshot from when he was freshly twenty or so. Adam remembers that day well. His hairstyle had changed so much since then, his cheeks had become less round. Yet, that image of Takashi would live on forever imprinted in the wall of Memoriam- the chubby-cheeked, hopeful boy with a full head of hair.

Adam can't resist brushing the tips of his fingers against the photo, continuing their path daintily across the imprinted letters of his name, as if too much pressure may cause them to crack.

"I wish that I had the energy to say I told you so," when he speaks the words aloud, it causes Iverson's shoulders to jolt in surprise. "But these days I don’t have much energy for anything." 

The bags under Adam's eyes are proof enough to support this claim. He closes them briefly, allowing them to get a fleeting second of rest. He reminds himself to breathe. 

"I’m on a leave from work and seeing a grief councillor because nobody thinks I’m mentally fit to work at the moment." Even if he won't admit it, Adam knows this to be true. 

"It’s been hard. hard as hell. Because what I was the most scared of happening," Adam takes a harsh, inward breath, "is exactly what happened." 

He recalls, whether he wants to or not, the final fight that he had with Takashi. It had been one of Adam's many desperate pleas to convince the man he loved to stay with him. To play it safe. To stay on Earth. To live. 

The weight of the memory is painful, like a thick chain is latched onto Adam's pulsing heart, closing in on him and tightening with each breath that he takes. 

"Why didn’t you just listen to me, Takashi?!" Adam's hand takes the form of a fist, banging against the man's plaque, all former tenderness forgotten. He grits his teeth unwillingly, a grind so loud that even Iverson's ears pick it up with a spine-chilling cringe. 

"I only had your wellbeing in mind!" Adam thrusts his fists upon the image of his former fiancé, again and again, his body no match for the sturdy construction of the wall.

His breaths become curt, painful sobs, and before he can stop himself, he's crying again. Just when he thought that he had long since run out of tears to cry. 

"I...I was so scared of losing you," Adam sobs, his tense posture weakening in on itself until he's slouched over, forehead pressing against Takashi's photo. "I couldn’t sleep anymore. I couldn’t hold anything down." 

It's at that second that Adam knows he has to regain his composure. He bellows at the ghost of a man demanding answers that he'll never receive, a method that will only serve to hurt him more than help him.

Adam stands, wiping the tears from beneath his glasses with the pad of his thumb. He straightens himself out and continues to speak. 

"Including you, I guess," his voice is heavy with a sigh, his heart pounding with a dull ache.

"Your side of the bed is cold, but the sheets still smell like you." Adam returns to gently surveying the plaque, his fingers tracing along the lettering of Takashi's name, "But for how much longer?" 

As his hand reaches the final letter, he confesses, with a regretful strain in his voice, "I can’t keep grasping onto you forever."

Adam lowers his arm to his side. He knows that this is the end. No more denial. No more crying. He has to accept things for the way that they are, or else he simply cannot move on with his life. And Takashi, despite their differences in the end, was not the type of man that would wish a lifetime of regret upon Adam.

"I wish I had given you a proper farewell." 

Adam steps closer to the plaque one last time, pressing his lips gently against Takashi's photo as the final parting kiss that he had never been able to give him.

As he pulls away, he whispers only for himself to hear, "Takashi, I’m sorry..."

**Author's Note:**

> We all know how the rest of the story goes. 
> 
> Shiro returned to earth only to find out that Adam is... alive and well. They rekindle and get to know each other again, now more mature than before, and decide to pick up where they left off. 
> 
> And then they lived happily ever after, or something like that.


End file.
